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If you need help right now
If this has gone past hard and into thoughts of hurting yourself, skip everything below and talk to someone now.
Call or text 988Text HOME to 741741Outside the US (opens in a new tab)
Guidance for: I feel rejected and I don't know why
Let it be weather
Start here
Stop looking for the reason. Set a timer for twenty minutes and do something physical — walk, shower, dishes.
Sometimes the feeling arrives without a cause you can point to. Hunting for the reason gives your brain a search task, and it will happily invent one to end the search.
Then, if you have room for it
- Name it without justifying it. Feelings don't require evidence to be real.
- Don't audit your relationships while flooded. Every conversation looks like proof from in here.
- Move: walking, showering, cold water, anything physical and repetitive.
- If this happens often and it's wrecking your relationships or work, it's worth raising with a clinician who knows ADHD.
Watch
- How to deal with rejection sensitivityHow to ADHD · 10 minWhat RSD is and what to do while it's happening, not just afterwards.(opens in a new tab)
- How to deal with negative emotions: distress toleranceDr. Tracey Marks, psychiatrist · 9 minGetting through a feeling you can't fix or explain. DBT-based.(opens in a new tab)
Read
- How ADHD ignites rejection sensitive dysphoriaADDitude — Dr. William DodsonThe foundational article on RSD by the clinician who named it.(opens in a new tab)
- How RSD actually feels, in readers' wordsADDitudeSurvey responses from adults with ADHD. Useful when you feel like the only one.(opens in a new tab)
- Everything ADDitude has on emotional dysregulationADDitudeThe full tag archive if you want to keep reading past one article.(opens in a new tab)
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