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If you need help right now
If this has gone past hard and into thoughts of hurting yourself, skip everything below and talk to someone now.
Call or text 988Text HOME to 741741Outside the US (opens in a new tab)
Guidance for: I'm furious and want to respond now
Protect tomorrow's version of you
Start here
Delete the recipient from the To: field right now, before anything else. Then walk away from the device for twenty minutes.
Anger this size comes with total confidence that sending it is justified. That confidence is part of the flood, and it goes away — usually before the message does.
Then, if you have room for it
- Make sending physically impossible first. Empty the address field, close the app, hand someone your phone.
- Write the unsendable version in full. Most of the charge discharges into the writing.
- Ninety minutes minimum before you respond to anything that made you this angry. Overnight is better.
- Ask what you want to be true tomorrow, and act on behalf of whoever has to live there.
Watch
- Anger and ADHD: how to build up your brakesHow to ADHD · 7 minOn the gap between feeling the anger and acting on it, and widening it.(opens in a new tab)
- Always angry? Try this before the next blow-upDr. Tracey Marks, psychiatrist · 10 minA technique for the moments before you send or say the thing.(opens in a new tab)
Read
- ADHD rage and anger issuesADDitudeWhy anger may be inherent to ADHD rather than a side effect, and what treatment does.(opens in a new tab)
- Emotional dysregulation: ADHD's overlooked symptomADDitudeShort explainer on the amygdala and why reactions outrun the brake.(opens in a new tab)
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