Guidance for: Someone criticised me and I can't shake it

Wait out the wave before deciding what it meant

Rejection sensitivity makes criticism land as danger. The intensity is completely real. The conclusions it hands you — that you're failing, that they're done with you — usually aren't.

Then, if you have room for it

• No replies while it's peaking. Nothing you send in the first hour will read the way you intend.
• Down-regulate physically first: long exhales, cold water, a walk. The intensity falls on its own — just slower than feels believable.
• Later, separate content from sting. Write the specific request they made. It's usually much smaller than the feeling.
• Notice the size of the story: "they hate my work" is a story; "they want the intro rewritten" is the request.

Watch

• How to deal with rejection sensitivityHow to ADHD · 10 minWhat RSD is and what to do while it's happening, not just afterwards.(opens in a new tab)
• ADHD and emotional dysregulationHow to ADHD · 7 minWhy feelings arrive faster and bigger, and why the brake is slower.(opens in a new tab)

Read

• How ADHD ignites rejection sensitive dysphoriaADDitude — Dr. William DodsonThe foundational article on RSD by the clinician who named it.(opens in a new tab)
• When RSD gets mistaken for depression or anxietyADDitudeWhy RSD is so often misdiagnosed, and what actually helps.(opens in a new tab)